Own It! What Do You Want? What Do You NOT Want?
Remember when you first fell in love with someone? Or you got a new furry family member? You were kind of obsessed with what they were like. You likely noticed what they wanted or didn’t effortlessly. This is the same energy I encourage you to offer yourself now.
A) Own what you don’t want…
1. Identify the weight story you don’t want. What thoughts, feelings, actions, results are you SO done with?
2. Own them as your defaults, but recognize that YOU are not your past patterns. You are the observer of them. If you choose to be willing, you can create what you desire more than your default.
3. Practice the ABCs of YOU love as you do this. I know you wouldn’t run off and leave somebody you truly cared about struggling. What would it be like to just stay with yourself as you admitted the truth about what you’re tired of, but without giving yourself a hard time about it. Asking for help if you want some. Treating yourself as you would a precious child, friend or pet who you’re concerned about.
B) Find out what you do want.
This is a fresh start with yourself, so just as you would in any other relationship, get busy finding out what you are eager for, or long for. Sounds easy, but often it’s not. Some people grow up being encouraged to go after what they want, but others, not so much. You might have been told to “be grateful for what you have”…translation: you’re selfish or greedy if you want more, or to follow your heart’s desires.
Here are a couple of ways to start uncovering what you want:
1. If you’re clear on what you don’t want…you’ve likely got great clues to what you do. Try out the exact opposite of what you don’t want and see your reaction. You’ve likely hit a sweet spot if you notice a combination of excitement and fear. Even if you’re not sure, try it out. What would it be like to believe the opposite? What might you do or feel?
2. Explore these questions
a) What do you long for? What’s in my heart that wants to be expressed?
b) What do you imagine that would look and feel like?
Be careful here. If you’re listening for what sounds logical and reasonable, you may be on the wrong track. Matters of the heart sometimes don’t make sense at first. And many times may seem impractical or impossible when we first uncover them. That’s OK. Try and hear clearly without judging and then give yourself some time with what comes up.
Let me know what you want or where you’re getting stuck in getting clear on this! It’s a process that can take some time and trial and error to find what works for you. Having the support of a friend or coach to help you sort this out can help move you from stuck and longing, to believing, creating and receiving the weight loss results you know are possible.