<![CDATA[Melissa G. Wirt Coaching - BLOG]]>Mon, 11 Sep 2017 22:46:29 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[Own It]]>Sat, 20 Aug 2016 18:29:24 GMThttp://melissagwirt.com/blog/own-it

Own It!  What Do You Want?  What Do You NOT Want?

So as you’re getting the hang of Creating Your Weight Loss Love Story, you’ll be paying attention to and caring for yourself, maybe in a whole new way.  This allows you to see with kindness and curiosity, patterns of thoughts you don’t like, ways of feeling that you’d prefer to have less of, or results in your life you’d like to allow and create…things your heart truly longs for.
 
Remember when you first fell in love with someone?  Or you got a new furry family member?  You were kind of obsessed with what they were like.  You likely noticed what they wanted or didn’t effortlessly.  This is the same energy I encourage you to offer yourself now.
 
A) Own what you don’t want…
 
1.  Identify the weight story you don’t want.  What thoughts, feelings, actions, results are you SO done with?
 
2.  Own them as your defaults, but recognize that YOU are not your past patterns.  You are the observer of them.  If you choose to be willing, you can create what you desire more than your default.
 
3.  Practice the ABCs of YOU love as you do this.  I know you wouldn’t run off and leave somebody you truly cared about struggling.  What would it be like to just stay with yourself as you admitted the truth about what you’re tired of, but without giving yourself a hard time about it.  Asking for help if you want some.  Treating yourself as you would a precious child, friend or pet who you’re concerned about.
 
B) Find out what you do want.
This is a fresh start with yourself, so just as you would in any other relationship, get busy finding out what you are eager for, or long for.  Sounds easy, but often it’s not.  Some people grow up being encouraged to go after what they want, but others, not so much.  You might have been told to “be grateful for what you have”…translation:  you’re selfish or greedy if you want more, or to follow your heart’s desires.
 
Here are a couple of ways to start uncovering what you want:
 
1.  If you’re clear on what you don’t want…you’ve likely got great clues to what you do.  Try out the exact opposite of what you don’t want and see your reaction.  You’ve likely hit a sweet spot if you notice a combination of excitement and fear.  Even if you’re not sure, try it out.  What would it be like to believe the opposite?  What might you do or feel?
 
2.  Explore these questions
a) What do you long for?  What’s in my heart that wants to be expressed?
b) What do you imagine that would look and feel like?
 
Be careful here.  If you’re listening for what sounds logical and reasonable, you may be on the wrong track.  Matters of the heart sometimes don’t make sense at first.  And many times may seem impractical or impossible when we first uncover them.  That’s OK.  Try and hear clearly without judging and then give yourself some time with what comes up.
 
Let me know what you want or where you’re getting stuck in getting clear on this!  It’s a process that can take some time and trial and error to find what works for you.  Having the support of a friend or coach to help you sort this out can help move you from stuck and longing, to believing, creating and receiving the weight loss results you know are possible.
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<![CDATA[Create Your Weight Loss Love Story...]]>Sun, 14 Aug 2016 17:53:45 GMThttp://melissagwirt.com/blog/-create-your-conscious-weight-loss-story
1) I can’t do this!
2) I know it’s possible and even though I’m not sure how, I can figure it out.
 
Which thought, 1) or 2) is more likely to get you consistently creating less weight, more money, a better conversation with someone you care about? 
 
Thoughts are simply sentences in our minds. Our brains weave the sentences into stories automatically, attempting to help us make sense of the world.  Our default stories are stored in the unconscious part of our brain, and drive how we feel and act in the world.
 
Some stories serve us well ("I'm a great friend," or "I am really good at this"). Stories that cause us pain can be rewritten ("I'll never lose weight," or "I can’t get ever get what I want"). You get to decide the stories you tell yourself. Which ones will you be keeping? Which ones will you be rewriting?

Here’s Part 1 of how to create your weight love story…


1)  Practice the ABCs of caring for yourself, giving yourself what you crave, and creating each moment.  Shifting this one story changes the way you lose weight and how it all feels as you go through the process. 
 
Awareness
Befriending
Choice
 
Conscious weight loss takes time and repetition, just like choosing to stay in love or most anything worthwhile does.  It’s a journey that takes us to our core.  If we undertake the process without reverence for our current existence on the planet, as it is now, we end up chasing better beliefs or stories as a way of making ourselves OK.  To fix something that we believe is wrong with our very being.  To turn away from what hurts, or reject some part of ourselves we don’t want to deal with or see.  To protect ourselves from seeing our wounds from fear that they’ll keep us from having the money, life, relationships our hearts crave.  This hurts and takes us away from what we are hungry for…our own attention holding our whole experience with love, compassion, celebration, attention.
 
So as we seek to change anything about ourselves or our lives, I’ve learned that awakening to our inner relationship is one of the single most powerful experiences we can have as humans.  And even though life changing, it can be subtle at first and at times.  You may notice some part of yourself (your mind or ego) feeling dismissive of the significance and raw power of this practice. 
 
But living your life grasping outside yourself for what you seek, you’ll come up short over and over.  Especially if you believe there’s no other way.  And it’s uncomfortable and painful.  I know.  Before I learned this, and anytime I forget to practice, I suffer.  And this is OK too.  I believe the contrast informs both experiences.  Plus, I’m not sure we can escape suffering while on this planet.  But returning to practice the ABCs over and over always brings more peace than suffering and shines light on the all the possible paths to buoyancy and joy. 
 
Awareness
(presence, being the observer) allows humans to notice their experience.

Awareness can be accessed anytime, anywhere, for any amount of time.  You can’t do it wrong.  It’s simply noticing what you’re thinking, feeling, doing or not doing, what parts of your life you’re pleased with, what you seek to change.  Anytime you practice awareness you are accessing the part of you that is wise and able to create what you long for in every moment.
 
Befriend
(realize that the person you’re spending your entire life with, is you.)

As you notice your experience and how you think about yourself, see if you like what you observe.  Do you regularly acknowledge your strengths, and appreciate yourself?  Do you make a decision and then later give yourself a hard time about it?  Do you speak unkindly towards yourself, your body, your weaknesses and vulnerabilities?  Do you ignore your heart’s desires by eating or drinking or by abandoning your priorities to please others?  Anytime you notice a pattern you don’t like is an opportunity to practice befriending.  You can decide to be kind, curious and compassionate with whatever you find. 
 
Try to open your heart as you reflect on your experience.  Whether it’s changing a habit you don’t like or seeking to risk believing in your heart’s desires or a dream, your open heart will create the space needed for whatever’s needed in the next step.
 
You can decide now, it’s as simple as that, you’re going to speak, think of and act toward yourself as you would a dear precious friend, loved one or beloved pet.  Practice, mess it up (and don’t give yourself a hard time about that) and practice it again.
 
When you’re in conscious relationship with yourself, you can create the love relationship of your life.  You’re in the process of learning to hold yourself in your darkest times, to not turn away from or reject your most unloveable parts, to advocate for your heart’s desires, to allow and celebrate your most shining traits, and to always always have your own back.
 
Conscious Choice
Anytime we bring ourselves into noticing our current experience, we are practicing Awareness.  From this place, we access our ability to consciously evaluate our thoughts, feelings, actions.  We can consciously choose to accept our default thoughts if we like them and how they serve us.  We can consciously decide to look for new thoughts or create them.  
 
This present moment is where our power of conscious thought originates and creating new stories are practiced.  We can hold onto a default unhappy or neglectful self-relationship or create a self-love story for all time.
 
Next up in Create Your Weight Love Story…Part 2 Own It!  Get clear on what you want…or don’t want. 
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<![CDATA[Let's Talk...]]>Sun, 07 Aug 2016 20:00:30 GMThttp://melissagwirt.com/blog/lets-talk

I know you want to be healthy, fit, strong…or honestly maybe you think you just want to be thinner than you are now.  And you’ve likely spent countless hours working on making your butt or belly a different size or your arms firmer.  You can’t count the hours you’ve put into diet and exercise plans that haven’ worked.  Whatever’s going on for you, I want to hear about it!  Here’s the deal…
 
Imagine what would happen if all the energy you put into anxiety about body, weight and food was available for your life.
 
What would you do with all that extra energy?
What would you create?
The possibilities are limitless.
It’s time to stop draining your precious life energy.
It’s time to take all that vital energy you put into worry, perfectionism, self attack and anxiety about eating and use it to create the life that is uniquely yours to live!
 
The women I work have a lot going on in their lives.  They don’t have tons of time to spare.  I respect that, so I continually refine my programs and sessions to be efficient and effective.  One way I do this, is by talking with the women I serve.  It’s one of my favorite things to do!  So here’s your opportunity to share what’s going on for you and to ask for what you want.  I’m currently preparing for my next group program and would love to hear from you by August 15, 2016.
 
To discuss your interests and concerns with me, click one of these links:

 
Click here to schedule a brief 20 min phone call (inside U.S.)
 
Click here to schedule a brief 20 min Skype call (outside U.S.)
 
Don't hesitate, I'm glad to talk with you and am known to be one of the best listeners ever.  Let's chat!    
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<![CDATA[After You Lose Weight]]>Sat, 30 Jul 2016 16:01:26 GMThttp://melissagwirt.com/blog/after-you-lose-weight

What Do You Want after You Lose Weight?  It’s OK of course if your answer is “I don’t know.”  I understand.  It’s easy to get locked into the cycle: eat too much, feel uncomfortable, feel regret, try and forget about it… until the next time you eat.  You may or may not notice how much being stuck in the cycle is affecting the rest of your life.  You shrink from wearing sleeveless tops.  You sigh as you look in the closet and see clothes that fit now and those you’re hoping to get back into…one day.  Maybe you’ve withdrawn from being social because you feel uncomfortable about how you look, or from your family because you’re too tired from the sugar sleepiness, and just feel down.
 
All this obsessing takes up a lot of energy.  We start to believe these patterns are just how life is.  We may even believe we’re a person who will always have a weight problem.  What IF…it’s not true?
 
To start finding out what you want on the other side of your weight struggle, answer these:
 
1)  What are you NOT doing because you’re struggling or worrying about how you look in sleeveless tops or “that” outfit? 
2)  What do you imagine your life would be like if you were living at a weight you love?
3)  What are 3 things you won’t do now (that you want to) because of your weight, or how you feel about your body?
 
I’ve watched with amazement as my clients who didn’t think it was possible to change, transform.  They did it by investing in support and committing to being honest with themselves.  They showed up for sessions and to learn and imperfectly practice new approaches to weight loss and exercise.  Practices that come from respect and care for their body, not force and hating on it.  They shift the energy of struggle and focus on bringing more pleasure and excitement into each day.  They FIND OUT what they want after weight loss and get started creating it now.
 
Weight coaching is powerful work.  I can promise that your experience won’t feel as easy as a popping a diet pill.  But that’s OK, because those results don’t last.  The ones you work for will, and I can promise that it will be worth it.
 
Finish the hazy hot days of summer feeling proud and stronger!  Plus, now’s the perfect time to set yourself up for winning during the holidays, and starting the New Year ahead of the game.  Click here to learn more and schedule.
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<![CDATA[Cracking Your Code:  When Do You Eat?]]>Sat, 23 Jul 2016 07:00:00 GMThttp://melissagwirt.com/blog/cracking-your-code-when-do-you-eat

One of the most valuable tools we have when it comes to reducing emotional eating is awareness.  It helps us crack the code of the unconscious patterns we are acting on.
 
Emotional eating is what we do when we want to be unconscious to our feelings.
 
It’s just a pattern your brain has learned and does by default.  It doesn’t mean you’re not OK or that you have to keep your default.  You can change the pattern.  Neuroplasticity (brain science) supports this.
 
Awareness makes it possible.  Pay attention to what’s going on for you with curious kindness like you would for a child or friend.
 
Start by paying attention to your patterns of eating, so you can slowly increase your overall awareness.
 
Do you have certain times when you eat emotionally?  Why do you think you eat at these times?
 
Do you eat emotionally when you are around certain people?  Why do you imagine that is?
 
Do you eat emotionally when you have certain experiences in your day?  Can you guess as to why?
 
Although these questions might seem simple, they are very powerful in increasing awareness and understanding.
 
For the next three days, try to pay attention to when you eat emotionally. 
 
Get to know and understand your patterns so you can decide if you want to change them.

If you would like to work with me on this process, come join me for a private one on one session by clicking here.
 
Take good care,
 
Melissa
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<![CDATA[Get Hope Back. Try This.]]>Sat, 09 Jul 2016 21:15:23 GMThttp://melissagwirt.com/blog/get-your-hope-back-try-this

You still KNOW, somewhere inside you that it’s possible to lose weight for good.  You wouldn’t be reading a blog on weight loss if you didn’t.
 
But maybe you’ve done so many diets that you’ve lost track.  And you’re tired of dieting anyway.
 
Or you refuse to diet, and believe that being unhappy, frustrated, dissatisfied with your weight and your body is just how it’s gonna be.
 
You know others have done it, and wonder why not you?
 
I say, “why not?” for SURE.
 
Borrow my belief in you for now, and try this to restore yours.
 
We lose hope when we’re deep in our default thinking.  Those thoughts cause frustration, hopelessness and overwhelm to fire easily and often because we have unknowingly created lots of evidence that “I just can’t lose weight and keep it off without struggle.”
 
I know it seems true.  And in a way it is right now.  Because as long as you hold onto that belief, you’ll keep creating results in your life (no weight loss or loss followed by re-gaining) to prove it true. That’s just how we’re wired.
 
But I want you to know, I've worked with many women who didn’t think that sane and lasting weight loss was possible for them either.  And they learned to create it anyway.  I believe you can too, one tiny step at a time.  Try this simple technique...
 
Even though it may sound a bit odd at first, place your try thinking this deliberately… “I WANT to WANT to believe that I can lose weight sanely and keep it off.”  Does that ring true for you?
 
If it does, you’re already making a shift toward the solution, which is miles ahead of thinking, “I can’t do this…it’ll never work for me.”
 
Opening to your desire to move towards what you want instead of telling yourself it’s not possible is the path to “Look at me, I’m doing this!”
 
Don’t worry if this process seems awkward or odd now, new things usually are.  Nothing has gone wrong.  You’re just beginning to raise your awareness of how this can work for you.
 
I know this can be the beginning of a whole new weight loss experience that leads to the sane and lasting results you yearn for.
 
Do you have questions?  I love hearing from you and answer all who email me.  And I have a few openings in my schedule for clients who are ready to regain hope by getting started.  Click here for details.  
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<![CDATA[Snaccidents Happen]]>Sat, 02 Jul 2016 18:32:11 GMThttp://melissagwirt.com/blog/snaccidents-happen

It’s a holiday weekend and all the goodies and temptations that go along with it.  You’re not the only one. The women I work with have snaccidents with more food than their body needs for fuel pretty often.  And they suffer the after effects…feeling uncomfortably stuffed, digestive problems, extra pounds, regret, guilt, frustration.
 
Snaccidents come from eating behind our own backs.  At least that’s what it seems like.  Truth is, the urge to start or keep eating even when you’re not hungry is a sign that your brain is healthy and functioning properly.  Your brain is just playing out a pattern that you’ve done so many times it’s coded into the unconscious part of your brain…just like the part that allows you to drive along a familiar route and arrive safely at home without remembering.  It’s not an indictment of your character or a statement about your worth or who you really are.   
 
But if you’re tired of Snaccidents, first, decide you’ll have your own back even when you’ve overeaten.  If you wouldn’t tell a dear friend or a child what you’re telling yourself about it, stop it.  Just stop. Decide to tell yourself the truth, and add a kind “AND.”  I just had a snaccident AND I’m not going to make myself feel worse about it with self criticism.  Or  “I just had a snaccident AND I’m going to get someone to help me with this. 
 
To make a lasting change, you’ll need to change your brain patterns and what you do consistently.  This is where I can help.  The foundation of my weight loss work is changing these patterns using proven sustainable weight loss techniques, love and laughter.  Will it work for you?  Only you get to decide that, but I know for sure my program works and that support to create what you long for makes a critical difference.
 
You may never feel completely ready, but if you’re yearning for a change, the first step is to sign up for a Weight Loss Motivation Session.  We’ll make a Snaccident prevention plan you can get started with immediately.  Summer’s a great time to ease into giving yourself something you’ve been wanting long enough.  Feeling better about yourself, that outfit you want to fit into and the peace you’ll feel with food are waiting for you…
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<![CDATA[Why Can't I Lose Weight?]]>Sat, 25 Jun 2016 18:26:40 GMThttp://melissagwirt.com/blog/why-cant-i-lose-weight
If you struggle with your weight and feel like you can’t get your hunger and eating under control, you may ask yourself questions like, Why me?  Why can’t I eat like my boyfriend, husband, girl friend and not gain weight?  I understand.  It’s frustrating.   I want you to know, you can jumpstart your weight loss efforts by changing the questions you ask and here’s why.
 
Our brains are designed to ask and answer questions.  It’s just how they are wired.  This is good news if you harness your brain power in your favor.  Learning to direct the questions you ask yourself about eating and weight loss, can powerfully move you toward lasting satisfaction with food, and living at the weight you want.
 
These are examples of what I call “Dead End Default” questions:
 
Why me?
 
Why can’t I eat like my boyfriend, husband or girl friend and not gain weight?
 
Why can’t I get started or stick to exercising?
 
I know what to eat, why can’t I do it?
 
Asking questions like these leads you face first into a brick wall, shutting you down and impeding your progress.  They are the type of questions we unconsciously ask ourselves when we don’t realize we have another option.
 
You know they are the Dead End variety when the answers to them, which your brain will automatically generate or seek out, make you feel frustrated, discouraged, out of control or any painful emotion.  Next thing you know, you’re eating to feel better and gaining instead of losing.  Instead, start to get a handle on your brain by trying this out. 
 
Imagine if you could unzip the brick wall of your Dead End Default questions and step right through it!

Play with this idea by learning to ask what I call “Power Play” questions.  These are questions that lead to answers that feel good or even playful or inspiring and engage your power to move in the direction you want to go.  They tap your creativity and lead to solutions you might not have even imagined were possible.  Some examples of these sound like: 
 
How can I understand why I overeat?
 
How can I support myself in stopping?
 
How can I be kind to myself and still lose weight?
 
How can exercising be more interesting or fun?
 
Ready to try this out?
 
1) The first step is to notice what questions are routinely going through your head and write them down. 
 
2) Answer your Default questions and notice how the answers make you feel.
 
3) Think about what you typically do or don’t do when you feel that way.  If your Default questions are leading to dead ends for your weight loss or maintenance, go to step 4
 
4) Think of 1 or 2 new questions that inspire you to move in the direction you want to go.
 
5) Practice asking and answering those Power Play questions daily.  Designing your day around the answers to questions that make you feel determined, committed, playful or powerful will have you creating lasting results you want.
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<![CDATA[Four Types of Eating]]>Tue, 21 Jun 2016 04:13:27 GMThttp://melissagwirt.com/blog/four-types-of-eating

I teach clients to stop forcing themselves to adhere to a strict diet and instead, to practice noticing their body’s hunger sensations using a Hunger Scale.  This helps distinguish physical hunger from emotions, connects you more clearly to your own body, and puts you in control.
 
You can also build a new relationship with your body and food by noticing 4 ways of eating: Fuel, Joy, Fog and Storm.
 
1) Fuel Eating
Fuel Eating is food we consciously choose because it makes us energetic and helps our body function well.  It’s using food to nourish ourselves.  To reach and maintain your natural weight, identify your fuel foods and aim to eat them according to your body’s hunger signals for 90% of the time.
 
Use these questions to get clear about what your fuel food is: 
 
Do you gain, lose, or maintain weight when you eat it regularly?
 
Is it easy to stop eating it when your body says it’s full?  (Or does it trigger strong desire to overeat before, during, or after?)
 
Is it healthy by your standards?  (And does it also taste good to you?)
 
Does it satiate you for long enough?  (At least 2-4 hours when you eat until you are lightly full)
 
Does it give you energy?  (Not make you lethargic)
 
2) Fog Eating
This is eating when you aren’t paying attention.  It may start with eating quickly. Your body may be tense or you may be breathing shallowly.  You may realize that when you eat while in front of the computer or watching TV, you look up from your food and are surprised that it’s all gone.  You may not even remember eating it all.  This is fog eating or “eating behind your own back.”
 
Brooke Castillo, author of If I’m So Smart, Why Can’t I Lose Weight explains “Fog eating is not enjoyable because you hardly realize you are doing it...It’s a big bummer because you don’t need it for fuel and you aren’t really enjoying it…Compare fog eating to pouring juice into a glass.  You aren’t paying attention so it just flows out of the glass, onto the table, onto the floor, and you just keep pouring.”  When we fog out and put food into our bodies that they don’t need for fuel, the overflow pours onto our bodies in the form of excess weight. 
 
It’s important to understand that the first step is always to notice and become aware of what you are doing.  Even noticing you are fog eating halfway through or after is fine.  If seeing it clearly allows you to shift what you do in a way you want, great.  Other times the first step is just noticing without changing anything you do.  Noticing with compassion, allows you to see clearly and understand what you are doing and why you are doing it.
 
3) Joy Eating
This is consciously choosing to eat something you truly love to eat and actually tasting it.  It’s food that just tastes good in your mouth.  Doritos, chocolate chip cookies, cake, these are foods designed for pleasure, not to nourish your body.  The main focus with Joy Eating is that you focus on each bite, savor and enjoy each one.  Most people are able to lose weight and maintain their ideal weight having a small Joy treat a day or about 10% of the time.
 
4) Storm Eating
Anytime you eat and feel like you can’t stop is Storm eating.  It can happen when we get too hungry or have deprived ourselves a lot.  Storm Eating can also occur during times of intense stress, sadness, or any strong emotion, even positive emotion and is usually done alone.  Many people are embarrassed or feel regretful after they Storm Eat.  The important thing to remember in a Storm Eat is that just like a weather storm, it always ends.  Also, remember that any self- judgment you have is just a distraction from what is really going on for you. 
 
Using the Four Types of Eating can help you understand your eating experiences and help you shift your relationship with food.  With curiosity and kindness, this is an opportunity to learn what is going on for you and new ways to live at a weight you love. 

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<![CDATA[Food for Thought]]>Sat, 11 Jun 2016 18:14:23 GMThttp://melissagwirt.com/blog/food-for-thought

Are you ready for Weight Loss?  Peace with food?  Confidence wearing your swimsuit or  shorts?  Most of us jump straight into action, but the key to getting what you want without struggle is to decide how you’ll think about what you want before you even put food on your plate.   Because how you decide to think about any result you want WILL determine whether you achieve it.
 
Here’s what I mean.  Your current weight is a fact.  It can be verified and proven in court…that’s how we know what facts are.  And you can think a lot of things about that single fact…
 
OMG!!!
OR
How did this happen?
OR
I don’t want to know, or even think about it.
OR
It’s just a number. 
OR
I’m a fat slug.
OR
My weight doesn’t determine my worth.
OR
If I want to be happy at this weight, I can.
OR
If I want to change it, I can.
OR
I’ll never change it, why bother.
 
Can you see which thoughts would support you getting the results you want?  Which ones will not?  Do you realize that what you think is a choice?  Know how to change thoughts you don’t like?  Hmmmm. 
 
Here’s another example from an article by Elizabeth Gilbert, with my take on it, that may help. 
 
Three adult siblings go to clean out their parents’ home for sale after their Mother’s death.  As they take a break in the kitchen, the family reminisces about how their Mom used to always take a sip of milk from the glass before serving it to them.
 
So the fact is:  Mom sips milk from glass before serving it to each of them.  We could likely prove that in a court of law so this is how we know it’s a fact.  Plus, they all agree this was her habit.   The next part of where it gets fascinating to me…
 
Youngest son:  Mom did it because she cared and didn’t want us to drink spoiled milk.  So thoughtful.
 
Middle daughter:  Mom was stealing our milk from us!
 
Oldest son:  Mom had no sense of spatial relations!  She consistently over poured and sipped to keep from spilling milk as she served it.  I can’t believe she couldn’t get that right.
 
Although they all agreed on the fact that Mom was a milk-sipper-server, what her sipping meant to each was determined by how they DECIDED TO THINK about it.  Gilbert says, “if we bestow upon the [facts] the brightest and kindest interpretation—we can learn how to perceive a more beautiful world…then [we] get to live in one too.”
 
Our thoughts are powerful, and learning to work with them is an art.  I can show you how to use your powerful thoughts so you lose weight, make peace with food or get into those swim suit or shorts while living in a more beautiful world.
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